nut hugger
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
