I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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