did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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