Define "chronic" masturbator.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
