I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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