I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
