Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
