please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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