as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
