To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
