I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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