No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
