i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
