At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
