I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize