I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
