I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize