How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
