My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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