I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Fuck appropriateness.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
