Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I will pee on everything he values.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
