Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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