Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
