i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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