Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize