covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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