great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
