Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
