She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize