After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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