Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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