I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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