i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
