Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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