If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
