He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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