Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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