I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
