This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
