He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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