I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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