I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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