Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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