Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize