I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
