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i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
