Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
