Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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