He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
