Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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