i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i've created a new STD.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
