This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
