Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
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