i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
two words...techno handjob
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
