So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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