i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
