I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
