if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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