we have officially lost it.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
