Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
