in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
